A High Achiever Origin Story ft. Angela Matthews – TMWS12

Rich Jones 0:00

Angela, welcome to the podcast.A

Angela 0:02

Thanks for having me here.

Rich Jones 0:04

This is literally years in the making. I was saying beforehand, we met at fin con. And I had mentioned briefly that you met me actually, when I was in the midst of some of the darkness that I've been talking about on the podcast, it's incredible to talk to you now I know both of our perspectives have evolved. I think we both had our fair share of life experiences as well since meeting a few years back pre COVID, as we were talking about before the show, but first question, I'd like to ask folks, what does mental wealth mean to you?

Angela 0:36

Mental wealth, to me means an abundance of support for myself mentally, spiritually, and physically, because they're all interconnected. And when I think about mental health, I think about how can I survive the trials and tribulations of life? And how quickly can I bounce back from them. And so for me, if I'm a little lacking in my mental wealth, I know that something could probably knock me out for a year or two. However, if I'm abundant in my mental wealth, then I know it may only take about a week or so to shift. So that's kind of what my version of mental health means.

Rich Jones 1:10

I love that nice, concise, put together,

Angela 1:13

just made it up. Never, no one's ever asked me that.

Rich Jones 1:18

Awesome. So on a related note, when did you realize mental health really mattered. Because if people realize that different parts along the journey some sooner than others, which is a good thing, because it doesn't have to take a catastrophe, but for a lot of us, we got to go through something to realize it, what was it for you.

Angela 1:35

So for me, it was pretty early on in, in my life, so my parents are separated now. And it was really crazy. Because if anyone comes from a household, we are at the people who are in relationship are deciding if they do not want to be in a relationship anymore. It's really tough for the other folks on the household, because no one fights behind closed doors that are soundproof right. And so you can totally hear it and your whole aura incontinence when you're in a happy ripples out. So I was in this household with two people who were really unhappy in their own day jobs with their relationship with each other. And I was an innocent bystander, pretty much, you know, at the age of 1415. And this was in my time at high school. And high school was also really challenging for me, because I'm also neurodivergent, I didn't realize that there was such a beautiful fancy term for all of the learning disabilities until I was probably in my 30s. But I didn't know that then.

And so to protect my mental health and sanity, I started cutting school in high school, because I didn't want to go to school and be stressed out. And I had a very stressful home life. So when my parents left for work, I just would act as if I'm going to school, and they would think, okay, I left for work, Angela's gonna go to school, and they would leave. And I literally just take off all the clothes that I like, put it on, put on some sweats, and then watch like Julia Child's cooking show, and made a wonderful dinner and sit down and eat it. And then when they came home, I put the same clothes back on, and act like nothing ever happened.

And I realized now that I was really protecting my mental space, I was building myself up, because I knew that these people were going to come back and I was about to go into some stuff. And so it was just like the cycle for almost a year until I had to finally come clean to my parents and tell them that I've been cutting school because they sent a note home saying that I was going to be an enrolled because I was Mia and New York City public schools don't play that. And so I had to tell them like so. I've not been going to school. And they're like, why and my parents are immigrants. So you know, that came with a whole heap of other situation and problems and for what it was Guyana. So I'm Guyanese, West Indian by culture, South American by location. And it's pretty much like any other immigrant households go to school, get a good job, and you are my retirement plan.

Rich Jones 4:02

So how did that go? Because you were not going to school. One, the fact that like you got away with it, as long as you did is a phenomenal feat. But how did that go?

Angela 4:13

Well, phenomenal. Definitely for a 16 year old, right. But older Angela is sitting here and I you know, I was talking to my husband about the other day that I've completely cemented my younger years. It's like tucked away inside of me behind a cement block. So there's, you know, Angela, 1.0 2.0, and 3.0. And I kind of add this into the 1.0 years, so I don't really even think about it. But now they think about it. I'm just like, someone should have known something was going on. Where was the social system? Where were my parents, someone should have seen like, hey, this kid isn't going to school. They're sending letters home, and I'm collecting them and I'm hiding them. I still have it in my journal, right? Because I knew that this was going to be a part of my come up story. So I actually still have these cards. mailed out somewhere. A mom, and it would say, so your child has not been in school 10 110 210 310 410 five, and then it'll say 10, you know, like seven because it was the weekend or it's an eight because like, the weekends didn't count. And it would just be like a row of dates. And so for me, I felt really good. But at the end of the day, I still feel like why didn't anyone notice that I was missing, it definitely brings a lot to the table of understanding that people are people outside of the relationships that you have with them, and loving them for their humanity, and not their role in your life.

And so for the relationship, specifically with my parents, and it's crazy, because I did not expect this conversation to go here. But like we said before, this is probably where it needs to go from my parents, especially for my father, individually, as a father, he was probably, you know, world's worst dad. Just gonna throw that out there. And he's deceased now probably rolling in his grave. But I would probably go toe to toe and say, Can you prove it otherwise, and he'd probably come up blagging very rich and in love. I know, he loved me, but his actions definitely could have said otherwise. So I completely understand that now. But when you tell the 15 and 16 year old Angela, at that time, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I didn't know that, you know, my parents were having, there were extra relationships going on in their relationships that my dad was, you know, playing Black tax, meaning that he had to work harder than ever with a college degree. And having his managers really be 20 years younger and uneducated. And him having to play that corporate game, I didn't realize that that was the stress that he was going into every day. And they were both just taking it out on me, because I was the person that would handle it and couldn't fight back for myself. And so as an adult, realizing this, I was still very spiritual. And in the black community, we have this thing like, but God, I still get very, like, emotional about it. Because I'm like, in spite of all of that, for me to stand here as who I am right now and have what I haven't be who I am in this planet, like, Well, shit.

Okay, well, maybe a lot of the things that happened to me that aren't really that great that I'm experienced that and Lord knows I've had a heck of every all of us have had, you know, our shares of keep the human experience. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. Like, it's for me, you know, those those years showed me that I can't expect anyone else to make me happy. I got to make myself happy. I can't expect someone else to educate me. Right? When I didn't go to school, it wasn't that I was just sitting home watching TV all day, I would go with like friends, and we would go to Broadway shows we'd go to museums, I told you, Julia Child's cooking classes, you know, I pretty much created the education that I thought actually mattered. And so from that experience, I'm like, I can do it. I don't have to wait for other people to give me an opportunity. I can create it and make it and yes, there will be a cost. Well, everything has a class. I'm gonna be alright.

Rich Jones 8:08

Yeah. So when are you having this realization, because I'm listening to you. And I'm seeing you speak about this so calmly, and it sounds like you're really at peace. And a lot of times to be at peace, you got to get through the grieving the forgiveness, that type of thing. Now, whether you're putting on an act, I don't know. You sound really at peace with this.

Angela 8:31

Okay, full transparency. I had a Reiki session yesterday. So um, hello.

Rich Jones 8:37

That's part of mental health, or mental health, right? That's like that's part of it. That's part of taking care of self.

Angela 8:43

It is. But remember when I said earlier that it's my response time, that helps me understand how I am doing with my mental health? Well, there were times when I had these realizations, because self growth and realizations and actual actualization happens in an onion, right? Or a spiral staircase, you're gonna hit the same realizations, multiple times over a lifetime, because you're gonna get different angles of the same situation that happened, right? And so it's going to hit you different times. And so the first time I had that realization about, you know, growing up and being abused and neglected, and all those things probably happened when I was going away to college, right? And realizing that when my parents or my dad didn't go to my high school graduation, because he didn't care for the college I went to, and realizing that, you know, this man probably just doesn't care. Because even though I didn't have the grades you expected me to, I'm still doing something that's typically really hard for the people around me.

You know, I grew up in Queens, New York, the high school dropout rate was really, really high. And so the fact that I stopped going to school and now I'm graduating on time, with an advanced degree, that's huge. which still wasn't enough. So that was the probably the first time I realized like, oh shit, if I'm never gonna be enough for you, I'm gonna have to realize how to be in it for myself. And that was hard having your parents not go to a graduation. Just because I didn't go to like a better school is so painful. Even though all the other people that were there, my mom, my friends, you know, when that one person you want to be there isn't it makes you want to cry. So that took, you know, a couple years to work through. And then I realized that again, when I got married, and anyone who is married or in a different, very intense relationship, you realize, like, Oh, crap, there's this download of things where the love that you were hoping to get in your childhood, somehow in my head, and then a lot of our heads, we expect it to get it from the person we married, or the person that we're committed to for a while, because they said you're gonna love me.

So this person who I was born out of, you know, didn't love me the way I deserve to or wanted to. So I'm just going to expect that you're going to do that. I'm pretty sure no one has a conversation about this. This is like a download and subconsciously read it right.

Rich Jones 11:07

You know, therapists office, they might talk about it.

Angela 11:11

Yes, it was office, of course. But you know, this is also the gift of hindsight. But when I was, you know, when, when I first got married the first six or six months to a year, you know, my husband and I straight up people, it was rough. I mean, really bad. And I was just thinking to myself, Angela, in the past, I have to trust Angelou in the past. Because I don't understand why Angela in the past would marry a person like this. I'm just gonna have to trust that that I'm just amazingly awesome. And making a decision, I'm gonna have to honor that decision and expect that Angela in the past knew what the frick she was doing. And this is actually how I treat all my decisions. Like, if I don't like the situation I'm in right now. It's because it's something I did in the past. And I'm gonna just have to trust. Just as I'm trusting in this moment, right now that I'm having this conversation with you. And all the things that I have on my plate that I'm doing the best that I can do with the information I have, is going to be okay.

So that's what got me out of these situations. Every time I realized the downloads I had to download last week, you know about the abuse that I had with my father. And it was, it is hard, I'm still processing it. Because I am realizing that I don't enjoy being wrong. And I never want to get in trouble. Because when I got in trouble, I was physically abused. And so it scares the crap out of me to think if I'm gonna get in trouble. So old Angela didn't care about trouble. I got my licks, I got my beatings. I was like, whatever grown up, Angela, no, you can't put your hands on my body. So I go back to that visceral fear of shit. I can't be in trouble, like this business out of work. This thing gotta work. me as a mother has to work me and my fitness has to work. Because if it doesn't work, I'm gonna get in trouble. And that's gonna be really bad. And I'm in it. I just realized last week a whole heap of memories that I suppressed. And I'm using my awareness that I've used and have gotten a new tools from therapy and all this stuff to work through this in this very moment. Right? And even as I say it, I still want to cry cuz it's so raw.

Rich Jones 13:21

Yeah, one, I appreciate the level of vulnerability and sharing all of this detail. And I just know, a lot of people can relate to this in different ways, people, everyone has different situations, but I think that they can relate to, to what you're sharing and that like, you know, for some people, it's feeling like they were bad. You know, that was my thing. You're bad, everything makes you bad. You mentioned the I'm gonna be in trouble. And it even makes me think about the high achiever. And you know, and that comes up in folks like us, and I'm listening. And I'm like, is this your high achiever origin story?

Angela 13:56

Is the origin story. I love superheroes. I love that you said origin story. I think it is. I think it was created the moment I decided that I'm going to, I'm going to be my own cheerleader. And I'm going to prove everyone wrong. And I'm going to show them that I can be, you know, like, the proud, illogical child and the high achievement the need to high achieve. I think it's a relationship that we all as high achievers need to contend with is a losing battle. Because we're never going to achieve the highest point that we want to actually be because it is a moving goal.

Rich Jones 14:33

I'm glad you clarified the moving goal part because otherwise, it's like what do you mean you can't achieve at the highest level of what you want to achieve? But sounds like what you're speaking to is there something I do like once you achieve it, you're thinking about the next thing right now just saying.

Angela 14:47

Yep, the goal turns into a milestone. Hmm, yeah, it's just

Rich Jones 14:51

it's like a checkpoint. Like, okay, did that.

Angela 14:56

Answer the next and as a result, by our nature We'll never be enough. Because our goals aren't actually goals, their milestones.

Rich Jones 15:06

So when did you have the realization that like, I need to one either appreciate what's happening in the moment or when I have an accomplishment? I need to appreciate that. Well, when did you kind of realize that you weren't doing that needed to switch to switch the approach up?

Angela 15:21

I think for me, it was probably right after the pandemic, I had a baby in the pandemic, so got pregnant, you know, pandemic babies, yes, my son is awkward as hell does not like being around people like because in the first years of his life, he didn't know anyone existed besides like the other three people living with him. Just to put that out there for anyone who needs a child born in this era, I'm pretty sure there'll be case studies in the future made of it and maybe complexes to find. So the first time I realized when I was this high achievement, business was kind of hitting up against the wall, just had a baby was still in my business still working happy investor method. And also, I chose to take off eight months to be with my son, right, I gave myself a maternity leave of eight months, which is ridiculous and beautiful, because that's supposed to be the dream, right? You can take an eight month maternity leave, and be okay financially, and not even feel it. Like that's a goal in and of itself. Because so many people have to ask for paid time off. In our country, they don't give women that space to figure out who they are after, you know, raising and creating a human for almost a year, right?

They give them three months to figure it out and go back. So I said no, and it's gonna be okay, we figured this out. So I'm in this, this goal, right, made it with my son. And I'm going crazy, because my company isn't making as much money while I'm on maternity leave. And I am like, losing it. internally. On the outside. Everyone's like Angela has it all together, she has her nice little baby, and she's home on her maternity leave. On the inside, I am like in my robe. 3am looking at the Stripe account, like what is going on, trying to like figure out an email sequence. And I have mommy's brain. And so if anyone knows, when you have a child, your hormone levels drop and all the nutrients that were in literally just left your body. So mentally, you are running at like 60% capacity. And I was so upset that I couldn't even think of a business strategy to make it work. Because I'm usually really great at business. And when I needed to be really great, the idea wasn't coming. And it just, it was hard. It was so hard.

And at some point I even started praying and my prayer is oh, I'll never forget this. And I say I'll never forget this because I was really angry at God. I was really angry. And I don't think I've ever been angry, beat like shit. All the other stuff, miscarriages, all this stuff, never been angry. But in this point in my life, I was angry. I was trying my hardest at both things, business, and parenting. And I don't think I was really having the results that I want it because when you're a high achiever, it's about results. Right? It's not about the feelings. And it's not about this and that. It's like Did it happen or didn't write its results, right? And it wasn't getting the results. And I actually told my husband one day, and I was just like, I'm just angry at God. And he was like, How dare you say that? Like, you're still alive? You know, like, just in case a lightning bolt like this man literally stepped away from me. Like it was like, I'm not even asking what you said, like because it's so blasphemous. Yeah. And I was just like, I'm trying and nothing is working. Nothing is working. And I'm trying so hard.

What the hell? What the hell? Why is everyone else making money? And I'm not making money? Why is everyone else seem happy? And I'm not happy. I don't understand. What have I done to deserve this? Ego, in hindsight, totally ego. I still honor myself in the moment because it was real, and the emotions that came up, were my emotions. But you can tell me not about ego that and because I'm like, showing you receipts like I did this, this, this and this, and this, and this, and this is what's there. So that I think was probably a really big come to Jesus moment about this complex of being high achiever. And what I realized in that time, and in that season was there really wasn't much gratitude present. And there really wasn't much compassion present for myself either. And I realized that the compassion that I didn't have growing up or the compassion that I didn't have on the outside was nothing compared to the lack of compassion I was showing myself. So at that point, I just shut the business down. I was

Rich Jones 20:00

stopped working, just

Angela 20:03

FYI. If I'm try it ain't working, why are we trying?

Rich Jones 20:07

No, no, I got you. You were like, fuck it. I got you.

Angela 20:14

For that, yes, I was like, Okay, if it ain't gonna work well, why the hell am I gonna try, which is exactly what I did. And that's a response that comes up for me every couple of years. That's what happened. That also made me stop going to school when I was in high school, I worked really hard AP classes, got 85, straight down an AP classes in high school. And I took it to my dad, he looked at it and was like, I did not come to this country from anywhere. And then just dropped the report card on the floor and walked away.

Rich Jones 20:45

That like really happened. That's not that's Wow, oh, no,

Angela 20:48

that's for real, for real for real. And I was devastated. Because I worked my ass off. Most people get 60, fives and AP classes. And I had an 85. And he was so out for the 100 The High Achiever that this is what I came to this country for that you were going to prove everybody wrong about me. That's what His thing was that I'm going to show the world that I can still create, you know, perfect things, even though my life isn't perfect. And I'm gonna shove into this, this person, which is what parents do. That's how they do to their children, innocent bystanders.

And so at that point, I was like, Well, fuck it. If it ain't gonna be me, trying isn't good enough. Why am I trying? I might as well enjoy my life. Hence the Angela not going to school and watching Julia Child's every day. Right? And then it came back up again. In this moment, just a couple of years ago, post pandemic, Angela trying hard enough results, aren't there? Oh, fuck it. Why am I trying so hard? I could be out here living my best life. And that's what I did. I have a 2021 hindsight board that I look at everything. It's like a vision board in reverse. And so it's the on the other side of it is my vision board for 2021 that I made in January. And the side that I displayed is that December 2021. Well, how did this all shake out. And it's a beautiful hindsight board, because that would be the vision that I would have had. And all the things that I want, it still happened even though I didn't need them to happen. I mean, the money because we had investments, they actually grew. Like it was the first time where I got to see that I'm so much more than all the things I said, I thought I was that I needed to make me me.

Rich Jones 22:37

I'm just giving you the space. I'm like, You're on fire with it right now. And because I just resonate, like with so much of it personally, but it's not about me today, it is about you. But you started to talk about investing a little bit, you know, which the happy investor method I know, for sure what to talk about that, in fact, we're gonna talk about that right now to get into that a bit like what this business is, that wasn't making the money that needed to be making the money that you then said, I'm gonna chill out, but for you got back into making the money.

Angela 23:07

Yeah, if anyone who's listening to this knows the road of entrepreneurship, it is probably the most challenging and rewarding relationship of your life. At least it is for me, because you're creating something and even as a parent, right, and I say this now, because you know, my kids are under five. So I'm sure there are older parents who might be listening to this, like, Yo, you have no idea about what challenging relationship of creating something in your life will be like. And just think about what our parents have said to us in terms of like, Oh, you'll see, like, you know, being a parent is tough. But I think being an entrepreneur is exceptionally hard. Because so much of what you create, you're the creator. And I imagined maybe this is what may be, you know, God might feel like to a very, very teeny, tiny, tiny extent. But you create something, you don't really have control over what happens. And you try to control it. And so I created the happy investor method to show people how to invest in the stock market passively.

My true goal behind it and one of the reasons why it says happy before investor is because my goal is to show people how to be happy above all, and I do think having more money and access to money supports that. And the real reason behind the reason is I want people to have so much money more than enough than they need so that they can figure out the reason why they recruited and do it. What is your purpose and that is a very luxurious conversation to have. If you do not have an a substantial amount of wealth that will always be there. Because once you start thinking about can I pay my bills? Can I put this person through college? Am I okay? Am I old and age, you're always going to be on the wheel of money and chasing and acquiring wealth. If you get it to a point where it's automated, and it's just always there. Well now What do you do with your life? Oh, she gets, we get to figure that out. So that's actually the reason behind the reason of the happy investor method. And when people it's so funny, because on the outside, you're like, oh, and teaches investing classes. But when you talk to my clients and my students, like, once you come inside my house, and I closed that door, oh, we fit in, and I get into some stuff. Right? Because that's just who I am. That's, that's my purpose.

There isn't as person that steps into my space that isn't left inquiry about their own existence, or empowered to do something about what they want. And so in the container that's surrounded by the conversation of wealth, because my goal of always is like, how do we get you to have enough so you can figure out that you are enough is always that. And so with the company, what we do is we teach investment classes, we teach things like how do you create wealth in a way that feels good to you, in a way that is sustainable, and in a way that allows you to buy additional wealth and other investments. So for me, you know, because of my business and my investments, just in my short time here on Earth, and I say short, because I know nothing's guaranteed, but I'm pretty sure I'm not even halfway there yet. Right? And halfway there,

Rich Jones 26:15

statistically, I mean, for free, and I'm pretty much there already. But you go,

Angela 26:20

you're pretty much but you're probably not because you do. Even statistically speaking, maybe yes. But then when you add in all the other factors that you're doing statistically like your house, and taking care of your mental health and all of those things, you're just adding more years to your life, because statistically people who don't work out, they live to this age, statistically, people who do live to this age who eat this who don't drink, so you're actually counteracting that statistic you just mentioned. So chances are you will live way longer, because you're doing what you need to do.

Rich Jones 26:54

I hope so. Yeah,

Angela 26:56

I think so. So, I mean, like I have any power over, we will all live long, beautiful, healthy, happy lives and wealthy. And so and this is for anyone whose ears hear it. So that's the thing, right? Everything I do is saved with like, the OB stuff, you know, and SAS and all of this. And so understanding how to stack wealth. And what I was saying was because of the my business and businesses, I've had a couple up until this point, and investing the money that I earned, whether it was from a job or a business, within my lifetime. So far on this planet, I have jumped about six economic classes, right from being really, really in poverty, to low income, to even just getting to high low income to low middle class to regular middle class. So high middle class to high net worth, really, so many brackets have been jumped that typically take generations. And it only happened because of investing because I figured out how to have this money, make money without me having to do it. And so that's what I teach.

I teach folks, okay, let's you know, we do our investments. 20% is cool, but I'm not here for that. I'm actually here for like 1,000% and how yours both but I'm a high achiever, and maybe I won't get to 1000 but your Damn skippy I'm gonna get to 80. And I want to 80% Return how mother effing Yes. Yeah, that happens, because I'm going for like, 1000. And yes, a part of me is like, damn, I only make 80% I actually have investments where I'm like, dammit, it's only 85%. I have some that are like 375%? And I'm like, yes. Okay, we just did a little bit more, you know? And so that's the height. That's high achiever.

Rich Jones 28:36

We're going in a good direction. Yeah, it's serving you in that context. Yeah. And

Angela 28:40

so it still serves, and it serves my clients too. Because when they start, they're like, oh, you know, my advisor said that, you know, 10% is really good. And I'm like, trick, you could have just put that in Apple, and you would have made 240%. So what they tell you right now, right, and they're like, oh, okay, then I'm like, so let's get to work. Let's create something, let's build something. And it gets fun. And so that's what the company does. And, and I love the company. And even though I'm talking about, you know, my mental struggles with being an entrepreneur, and doing all of it, this company, not only has it afforded me to be the most, the Andrus and I could be right, taking time off to be my family. I get paid to help people, but the people who actually do what I tell them to do, they get paid for existing. Wow. And that's what's up because I think collectively, we're gonna shift the planet. When our money isn't tied to like, icky things, and we get to put our dollars and things that matter. Well, how the more money you get, the more money you're going to give to the causes that you believe in. That's how we create the world we want to see. So I love being in that conversation. I never tell anyone the conversation and purchasing and stop. Oh, that's just to get you into the conversation.

Rich Jones 29:56

You've heard money is a tool which you I very much believe I was thinking about my experience. Now granted, it wasn't from investing. But I was able to take a mental health leave last year that was paid through work. And I did think to myself, I'm like, Man, if I didn't have this, like, if I didn't have access to this, I wouldn't have been able to create this space for yourself, I wouldn't have been able to come to the realizations I needed to come to. And I wouldn't be able to say like, here's what I want to do, here's what I want to accomplish. It's not actually the job, that is the source of my problems, it is the stuff that I that I haven't addressed. And I'm not able to do that, or even the track and field stuff, I'm not able to do that without money, whether it's the day job money, or actually the side hustle money for me is like what covered the business for like, a year and allowed me to like travel while I was getting my stuff together. So I'm like, if nothing else, the money gave me space. And that's kind of like a big thing that I'm taking away from, from what you're saying.

Angela 30:54

Absolutely. And even as you're saying it, I'm just like, and it gives you access, it gives you access to information. You know, a lot of people who have good hearts, think about I love that you mentioned your business, right? I love that you mentioned that someone can pay you to fix their lives. Because back in the day, when access wasn't available, no, you couldn't pay anyone to fix your life, you just had to sit in it, you had to sit in your shit. And that was your ship forever. And the people around you has to deal with your ship. But now when you have money, I love the fact that we can pay to be better. Right? And if you need to find money, we're all resourceful, we figure it out, right? If something, if we really want to buy something, we figure it out. We're like, Okay, I have this credit card, or I have this person that owe me money, or you know, I do have this thing that I could sell, right? We just get resourceful as hell, which is why I always tell people, if you really want it, you're gonna figure it out. Because we're smart human beings. And yeah, there are times we can't figure it all out. But that's when we get to lean on community. If you can't figure it out yourself, that's when you should actually lean on people to help you figure it out. But the fact that you can pay someone to be a better person, it's a very beautiful time to be alive for that just very plain reason. And a lot of people talk about, you know, in the beginning, when I started this company, I thought, should it be enough for profit, and I learned really early on, I don't want my main source of income to be from a non for profit, because the name in and of itself means I will never be rich, I cannot keep my profits. So when people just jump straight into not for profit, they get confused with what is this a business? Or is this a charity? And it's like, well, no, if I'm showing you how to make a lot of money, it's a business. Yeah. Because if I don't make money, and my family is not provided for, then I can't do this for you. And so that's the funny thing. It's like when people think about investing in themselves, a lot of people are like, Oh, well, why did you take that course you notice that when you're on the path to self development and trying to make yourself better, you get a coach, you do the things you get, you know, to help you get to your goal. And that takes money. And some people are like, Oh, my God, you pay for that? Well, because I'm that committed to the end goal. And a lot of people I think don't understand that. They don't understand that within the framework and context of business and paying people for their services. It shows how committed you are. I just recently did an audio training for my community on most costly entrepreneurial mistakes. The next release of it is going to be my most costly investor mistakes, right. But I did entrepreneurial mistakes first. And it was like $4.6 million. So when I call in, but the value of my mistakes. It wasn't actually that I was up there, though. But the value of it was 4.6 million. And I'm okay with that. Because that just showed me I was I'm $4.6 million committed to the Angela the future when I was going to be a billionaire dropped the notional Walker.

Rich Jones 33:58

Yeah. But the other thing is, you've got the vision though. That's the thing like you like understanding your values, knowing what you want for yourself, knowing what you want for the future, knowing how you want to impact people, knowing how not having what you need, impacts your ability to impact others in the way that they may need. It's really a full circle thing is what I'm hearing and I'm so so glad you talked about investing itself as opposed to just investing in the market because it is I mean, I'm a huge proponent of it I've had a leadership coach shout out the cave on I mentioned them on the show a few times who I've been working with for a few years now I pay a long jump triple jump coach, and I'm going to multiple therapists you know, I'm getting books and for me like that is and that's a big part of like how I see mental wealth and like I can't just like sit here and look at what other people are doing and like be upset at like where they are if I'm not like taking care of myself and doing like what's necessary for me to get me to that next level. And it finally clicked recently in the business because for me for years now it's been like I've done it notice because I just wanted to help people like that's just been it for like years like I just I just enjoy helping people. But it got to a point where I'm like, All right, like some of that money from the side, this is starting to dry up a little bit. I'm like I now I'm starting to have to like go into my own like money like bank account to like, cover some stuff, this needs to start making money, because, like, it already adds a little bit of stress. And I'm like if the more energy that's like in that it's less energy that I have for the message and to be serving and doing you know what I'm intended to do, and that does not happen without that investment itself.

Angela 35:36

It's true, it's so true. And that's why I'm a proponent of entrepreneurship and people charging their words or just being okay with people compensating them. Because if you don't get compensated, you're not going to survive. If your bills start getting too high to run this initiative that you have that's really coming from your heart. Well, the actual real sight of you and your partner and the people in your life. This is your mission, this isn't their mission. If you're like, I got to pull out the savings to do your mission. Well, no, no, no, no, that might fly for a couple of months. But it's going to not be okay after a while if you can't pay your rent, or if you can't pay your mortgage because you are taking care of other people. Well, that's an imbalanced relationship, those people need to take care of you just as much as you want to take care of them.

Rich Jones 36:22

Yes, that imbalance part is so important because I've had to learn how to, I don't want to say like save energy, but I've got to be cognizant of how much time I'm putting in how much effort I'm putting into the business and making sure that I'm putting equivalent effort or more effort, because she's probably gonna hear this more efforts into the relationship side of things. And it's easy, especially like, with the overachiever mindset, I'm not sure what aspect of I'm neurodiverse as well. So I'm not not sure which GA is but I know for me, like what the ADHD on my site, like, I get like, super tunnel vision. And I can just get like lost in something for like, hours, especially when I care about it. Or if I feel like I'm going to be judged or evaluated on it. And so I have to be cognizant, like yo, like, Yes, this is important, but like, I can't let this other stuff fall by the wayside. And I feel like a lot of times, we as overachievers do that or we have the propensity to do that. We do.

Angela 37:19

And I think it's a good problem. Because that means you're driven, right? And you're focused, which Lord knows if you have ADHD, and I do too, that's just a whole other thing to just get to the point where you're focused. And in that zone, it takes some time. So when you're in it, you want to capitalize on it. So I don't think there's anything bad with that. But you want to do is you want to figure out, well, how do I make it okay to be that way? How do I make it so that the thing that I'm spending so much time on is compensating me for it? So it's okay for me to spend that much time? It's like, would anyone ever go to work for free? No, no, you're gonna go, I'm not gonna pay you. Will you still show you might feel like a little bit out of the kindness of your heart. But you're not fitting to be there for a month over a month. Is that your base? Is that right? And so all this to say is another point I want to make in regards to thinking about this in a way that could be more digestible or resonate more is the people that are listening to you, the people that say, are saying like, wow, I look up to that person, I look up to rich, he's a leader in this field. They are waiting for the opportunity to work with you. They are saying, Wow, this is what you can do on like a podcast. Or if you're listening to this, and you're an influencer and you have some form of influence, and it doesn't have to be millions or even 1000s of people could just even be like a dozen, doesn't matter, you have something of value. People would love to make an intentional relationship with you. Intentional, meaning that I have paid you for a service, which means you are going to show up for me, I have time on your calendar dedicated to me, and helping me with my problems and making my worlds come out the way I want to. Where can I give you my heart to make this a reality? Where do I enter it? And when can we schedule our first meeting. And so to me, and this is a really evolved way of thinking to me as business owners or entrepreneurs or hobbyists, who have something that people are willing to pay for it because you can help them you are really at a disservice. You're really doing something where you're not making that relationship balanced. And if a relationship isn't balanced, it's not going to survive. It's going to fall off. At some point, someone's gonna go to someone else to fix that problem that you help them realize, and in their heart, they actually want it to be with you. But you're like when they come to your house, the doors closed. When you have a service that they can pay for you are opening that door and saying, let's work together to help me get the life you want. I'm happy to.

Rich Jones 40:02

Yeah, I feel so inspired, motivated right now. And I have been saying for these last few episodes that I feel like I'm having these conversations, right when I'm supposed to, like, I feel like everyone who I come on the show is like my guide in some way, they helped me realize like something else. And like, for selfish, it's like, taking one on one wellness coaching clients, you know, like putting my, my coach had to coach me, I'm putting myself out there. And he's like, Yo, people need you, man. Like you need to be like out there. And like people, like who have been listening to you for years, like want to work with you and will and will pay to work with you. But it also requires having that confidence itself. And if not just that confidence, you've also got to have that vision, which you clearly have where I'm seeing like, okay, like, I see how working with people was going to serve both me and then and I also see how that's going to allow me to do some even bigger things down the road. So this has been a fantastic conversation where toward the end of the show, so where can people find you? Also, if you got to close? I feel like you gave like many thoughts that could be closing thoughts. But if you got like another one, feel free to drop that here. Otherwise, where to find you where to get the latest, it's fine by me.

Angela 41:12

Okay, however, let me think one last closing point, not a new one, but one to kind of help you as you've listened to this entire episode. It's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. Because it always is. And it will always be okay. That's my closing point. As long as you're on the journey, and in the process of query and figuring out the shit you need to figure out, it's gonna be okay. And even in the moments when you feel like you're not doing it, you are, because sometimes we need the space to just exist. So I know if you're a high achiever, and you're listening to this, you might be thinking, Okay, well, I'm gonna do this, this this as that's not the message. The message is how do you have grace with yourself in knowing that this is who you are to your core? Because chances are, in one year, you do more than what someone's going to do in a lifetime? Yeah, hold back. Right?

Rich Jones 42:09

Fax machine emoji.

Angela 42:11

So just do what you can do do baby steps, right? You know, if you can follow me at the happy, happy investor method on Instagram, you can get on my list. That's where I do it. Right. So my thing is my list yours versus this podcast, right? I have an email list. And I send love notes, like wealthy loving notes through email. Because for me, that's my way of giving. That's my way of, I'm in my sacred space, and I'm reaching you in your sacred space. And we're going to have a conversation I'm going to teach you. So if you're OK with taking baby steps that way, go to happy investor guide.com. And you can definitely get on the list there. Have investing freebies right now, the current freebie is a wealth prayer, because I do pray a lot. So a wealth prayer, there is an angel investing masterclass, because I have used my investments to invest in Angel companies as an angel. And then there's also a, I think, 55 stocks worth $55 or less. So you can tell there's a gamut of things, but I'm hitting folks, you know, where I am personally, and what I've had success with personally, so there's something for everyone. And you can find me again at Happy investor. guide.com Andrew Matthews, and thank you so much rich for this opportunity.

Rich Jones 43:21

Yes, thank you for the vulnerability and thank you for sharing all of yourself. I know this is gonna help a lot of people.

Angela 43:28

I hope so. And I look forward to hearing from some of you if this has helped you at all.

Rich Jones 43:32

Damn right