Lessons from 2021 to take into 2022 – TMWS03

Yo happy, freaking. New year. I am so excited for 2022. I know I was supposed to be back again at the end of 2021, but I just had a feeling that there were going to be some other thoughts, some reflections, they were going to be some changes in life. And there was a lot of stuff that happened in December and even so far in January. And I'm excited to be back to kick off the new year.

Now, some of the points and some of the stuff I want to talk about today, it's stuff that I had ready to go at the end of the. But since I didn't record, it's now going into this 2022 episode, but it's equally as relevant because today I'm going to be talking about lessons learned from 2021 that I'm going to be applying in 2022.

And I think there's going to be a lot that you can take away from this because I really tried to come up with a little bit of something for ‘erbody, but yeah. To kick it off with some really exquisite news. The talk from the economy conference that I've been mentioning on the past few episodes that I've been so happy about, proud of is finally available.

And you can get to that by going to paybal.co/pursuit. Like pursuit of happiness, because my talk was titled the pursuit of professional happiness. And I talked about what happens when you achieve all your goals and you're still not happy. Share a little bit of my story, drop some insights on the money side, the professional side.

So I encourage you to go check that out. It's about a 20 minute talk again. paybal.co/pursuit, P A Y B A L.co/pursuit. And if you like what you see you, like what you hear you like what I put out there, be sure to share, because you know, as I say on the podcast, the more people we reach, the more people we help.

And other news and equally as fantastic, 2021 was also my best revenue year as a side hustler, entrepreneur, whatever you want to call it in total surpassing six figures between what I'm doing here on this whole thing. Plus some things I was doing in crypto. I say some things like I was doing something illegal.

I wasn't, I was just taking the right advice from the right people at the right time and able to come up. So I'm looking forward to doing a lot more of that in 2022 with a lot more effort. So again, I'm super excited to be back and get into this episode today because yes, it is just me sharing these insights lessons learned from 2021 that we can apply in 2022.

So the first thing. And probably one of the most reflective and biggest lessons from this past year is that self care looks different to everybody. And I know we hear self-care thrown around all the time, but that was something that I definitely applied in 2021. And here's the thing self-care, doesn't always mean that it's easy.

Because for me, a lot of that was time spent processing healing, things like that, stuff that people don't tell you about when you have time to yourself and you're just alone with your thoughts. And if you've been listening for a little bit, you probably heard me talk about that before, but a couple of things that were really big for me in terms of self-care this past year, getting back and competitive track and field shape.

I mean, the fact that in six months, cause I committed to it on July 1st as a celebration to self have one year free from alcohol. And to six months later, seven months later be less than 30 days away from my first meet. And over 13 plus years, that has just done a lot for my energy, my attitude, even just how I feel about waking up in the morning.

So I'm so glad I made that decision to get back in track and field shape. And I'm not sure what that thing is for you. Maybe it's getting in shape. Maybe it's picking back up with a habit or hobby. That if you got back into it, or if you paid more attention to it, you would find that it changes how you feel about each day and even how you feel at night and what you do with throughout that day.

Because you know that that's going to be something that you're looking forward to, maybe it's yoga, you know, which is something else that I got into recently. And yeah, I was that brother who was in there trembling, shaken when everyone turns in my direction, but the competitive nature, which comes from knowing thyself, You know, I realized that I just wanted to get better and I got to start somewhere.

It's just been the same thing with podcasting has been the same thing with everything where you pick up something new and you got to start on the ground floor. And I like to make stuff like that challenging for self. So maybe it's yoga, maybe it's, I don't know, table tennis, who freaking knows. And the other thing that I got into this year that I have not talked about in the podcast, but you might've seen on social media is that I learned how to grow cannabis.

And, it turns out that I actually have a pretty strong green thumb, not something that I was expecting at all, but Hey, you know, I live in California. And it's a state where it's legal. I actually have a medicinal needs, true medicinal needs and a lot of money to be saved from having to go to dispensaries when you're growing it yourself.

So I've become a big fan of grow your own. Yeah. Probably grown four different strains at this point. And I'm going to be taking a break for a little while because some, you know, focused on the whole track and field thing and making sure stuff is popping as far as the podcast and YouTube, but yell the process of gardening. Like now I get it.

I mean, I wasn't growing the average everyday plant, but what people talk about the therapeutic newness of it, and just getting up in the morning and having a routine, checking on the plans, watering the plants, seeing them grow, seeing them change, taking them from a seed to this beautiful plentiful thing that is not only for me, but that I can share with others.

I get why people, you know, enjoy farming and I get why people enjoy having gardens. And I get why people love baking and all of that other stuff, because you create something that makes other people happy. You know, that's just a beautiful feeling.

And so next up, learn your attachment style. So your attachment style is how you relate to and develop relationships with people that are important to you. You'll find different definitions of it. But it's going to be something like that.

There's primarily four and you'll see different words for these, but secure, anxious, avoidant, fearful avoidant. I'm the double whammy. I'm the fearful avoidant, the worst of them all. But here's why this is important to know because when you understand your attachment style, you also understand your relationships with people.

And this includes at work because for self I'll give you an example. I learned real young, not to rock the boat. And that carried into adulthood where in meetings, there'll be times where I have a contrary opinion, but I choose not to voice it. And then we know how that shows up in a performance evaluation where you're not voicing your opinion because you know, particularly in the states, it's such a performative culture is what I'll call it.

That you have to be able to do things like that. A lot of the time we don't understand why we're struggling with contributing or why is it that we have this continuous reaction when we get into certain situations. And a lot of times it's not just because it's a work situation, it's something that's much deeper than that.

And so I encourage you. If it's not something you've looked into that you look into it now. And there's a lot of great books that are out there. In fact, I just came across one that was specific to people who've endured some type of childhood trauma and that being a key factor in leading to complex PTSD or CPTSD.

And that book is called complex PTSD from surviving to thriving by Pete Walker. And I just finished this well. I mean, I like listening to books. I read our guests listen much faster that way. And I got through this book in like four days. And one thing I really loved about it is that a lot of the situations that they gave.

That manifested and people were having these challenges later in life, where things that I could relate to. And that's probably why you listen to shows or whatever is because of relate-ability. And there's a lot of that in this book. And with that, you realize that you're not the only one who's dealing with a particular situation.

So if you have had any type of past trauma where you do find yourself doing the same things over and over again, and figuring out why you can't stop doing those things. Maybe understanding a little bit about your attachment style might help you with that.

Next up, because I'm moving fairly swiftly, make work work for you.

So I've been back at work for just over a month. Now I went back after a three-month leave in the beginning of December and keeping it all the way real, there was a point during my leave where I consider not going back at all. And then toward the end of it, I went on campus for a doctor's appointment. And then after that doctor's appointment, I stopped in the gym in the same building to see that they had everything that I needed for my track and field training.

Then on the way out, I got a healthy breakfast in the cafeteria and I realized yo work is helping me achieve a major life goal. And it's a tool that requires me to expend some energy and in exchange for uncovering happiness. But yo at this point, It's worth it. And I found myself thinking, why would I walk away from something that's helping me find the freedom that I want?

Because what, because the fucking guru said it, come on, man, come on. There's nothing wrong with having a day job. And I'm not saying it's something that I now want to do forever. But when I think about the greater goals and the greater purpose, I see how it serves that. And when you make that switch and perspective in seeing your job, not as something that's keeping you in chains, but as a tool that can help you achieve whatever it is, that greater thing that you want, that gives you power.

And when I went back to work, I was very clear about the types of things I wanted to work on. And even in terms of projects at this very moment, it's stuff that I was very deliberate about asking for and being intentional. But you're going to hear me talk a lot more about this year because you know, I don't, I don't want to feel the way I felt back in August.

I don't wanna, I don't even want to feel the way that I felt in September, October while I was off. And before I got to the point where I was starting to feel normal about a lot of things. Again, And so I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that that's the case. And if that means, Hey, you know, I've got to continue to be a full-time employee for some period of time, versus just quitting my job, running to the entrepreneurial streets, just to say that I did it.

No, that's not how I move in, man. That's not how I'm moving at all. So this year I'm encouraging you to make work, work for you. So are there benefits that you're not using? Perks that you're not taking advantage of? Do you have the ability to work remote? Could you go part time? You have vacation time you're not using what are the things that you can do to make work, work for you?

Is it pick it up new skills so you can move into the gig that you ultimately want. I'm telling you once you're intentional about that. All of the BS that you deal with on a day-to-day basis is going to get a lot easier. Trust me.

So next up your weakness is a strength. And I say this because I also learned this year that I had ADHD.

Yay. Throw that on top of the PTSD. I just, I just got it all. Maybe one is the other. But because of that, I often struggle to get things done in advance. There's it's just, I just struggle with it. I can get like 60% of the way there and then they get across the finish line. I like to wait till the last minute.

I mean, I don't like to wait till the last minute, but that's just the way my brain works. It is really hard for me to focus for extended periods of time and get things done. I've accepted that about myself. But I've also accepted that my creative process is driven by authenticity versus getting something done for the sake of getting something done.

So sometimes that makes it really hard for me to create content until that fire hits. And I turned out an episode like the one I'm doing right now. I mean, it's literally, it's literally the day before this is supposed to come out, but like, that's just the way I work sometimes. And for years, I've beat myself up over this always being last minute, despite my best efforts until I started to understand why that really was.

So I don't call it procrastination anymore. I call it baking. I mean, not that type of baking that you do in California and Colorado and several others did anyway, I call it baking because that time that I'm not doing anything, I'm not actually getting something on paper or into a document. I'm processing it in the back of my mind and when it's time to be delivered and when it's ready, everything comes out quickly and it's super easy pause, but yo, I've also found a way to turn that into a strength in that one thing about ADHD is sometimes when you're working on something that you enjoy, you get hyper-focused and that's something that I've done plenty of times over the years where I get focused working on the wrong thing, that's always been my problem.

I find something that I like working on and I just get sucked into it. But all of the other stuff that I don't enjoy, that's where I get distracted and that's where I run into trouble. And so for a lot of these creative projects, I'm making sure that I'm giving myself the time, the space, the grace, for me to create at the level that I know that I can and trusting that I'm going to get things done by the deadline, because I always do.

It's just stressful, leading up to that. And that's something that I'm going to be working on this year, because I don't want to be motivated by just deadlines. I just wanna be able to get stuff done early because it frees me up to be able to do other things. So that's very much a focus of mine in 2022.

So how can you take that thing that you look at negatively? Cause we all have them. It doesn't matter who we are. There's something that we think is a negative. We beat ourselves up over it, even though things ultimately end up fine. So, how can you turn that thing into a positive or how can you start looking at it positively.

And so the last thing I'm gonna talk about, it's going to sound really, really silly. I promise it's going to sound silly, but yo sitting is fucking awful for you. Now I say this because I noticed a lot of my back issues and core issues. Yes. I was working out and all of that stuff, but they really healed up and I felt really good in November, during the time that I was off, after I disconnected from work.

But I noticed when I went back that I started getting the hip pain again, and then I started getting quad pain and then I started getting lower back pain. And the only thing that it changed was how much time I spent sitting. And I realized how much time I spent sitting changed because I went back to work.

So I went back to work and then my back went back to. I'm trying to do too much, but you get what I'm saying there. And I throw that in because I've been talking to friends lately, different people who are talking about issues that they're having. And they're saying they're getting old.

I remember how frequently I used to talk about being washed. I don't feel washed at all. I mean, that's not totally true. There are some things that still make me feel washed, but it is nothing like I thought before. And some of those aches and pains are things that you can actually get rid of. And you probably know what life feels like when you have a nagging back pain or something like that.

It fucks with your whole mood. You'll want to deal with people, but you have to deal with people in life is just a lot more miserable overall. So yeah, standing desk or what's up, getting up for walks, stretch breaks there what's up sitting is terrible for you. And I'll throw this in because I just saw it on my whiteboard and I forgot to mention it.

You're stronger than you think. You are stronger than you think. All right.

So that's the first episode of 2022. I'm so excited to be back. Like I said up top and I know, I keep saying I'm so excited, but I really am. And I can't wait for the next episode. I have a great conversation with a brother who I've spoken to in the past, who, I mean his vulnerability, like he, he blew me away, which is some of the stuff that he shared that I would have never expected.

So stay tuned for that. Coming out later this month. And so if you're not already subscribed to the podcast, be sure to subscribe to The Mental Wealth Show on your favorite podcast player. So you don't miss the next episode when it comes out or anything else that I'm dropping in the podcast feed. And if you have not checked out The Mental Wealth Show premium, you can do that by going to mentalwealthshow.co no m, mentalwealthshow.co to see the offerings that are available.

And if you want to get access to the back catalog of the previous iteration of the podcast. Going back to the very beginning, you can get that by becoming a mental wealth show premium. I'll also be doing office hours, ask me anything, over there and releasing content here in near as I feel like at that, won't be available in the general feed.

So again, mentalwealthshow.co. And if you don't want the subscription, you just, and you just want to say, yo, I appreciate what you're doing with this podcast thing. Here's a cup of coffee. You can donate directly via the same website. So that's all I got Happy New Year. Once again, I'll see you on the next episode and until.

Do something dope.