Mental Fitness and Investing in Self ft. Welcome Sarah Fletcher – TMWS09

Mental Wealth with Welcome Sarah Fletcher: How Living Like an Athlete Pays Off

Transcript

[00:00:44] Rich

Yo. So it's the week I've spent a year getting ready for. It is the week of the USATF Masters Outdoor I Can field championships in Lexington, Kentucky, and I'm recording this a couple of hours before my flight out there. So Boubins and I are going to spend a little bit of time in Louisville before heading up to Lexington. And it's wild because when I started a year ago, I knew that I would be back in track, but I did not know that I would be back at the level that I've been so far.

[00:01:13]

And it's also been kind of funny these past couple of weeks because I feel like everything has been trying to get in my way to stop me from competing. This past Sunday, I rolled my ankle during a workout, and I never rolled my ankle. And then I wake up this morning, my back hurts. A few days ago, my thigh was hurting, and I'm just like, yo, none of this is going to stop me from making this trip. None of this is going to stop me from competing in this track meet, especially when I consider all the things that I've already overcome in life.

[00:01:41]

This is nothing. And if you're new to the podcast, as you heard repeatedly, my name is Rich Jones, and I'm a certified wellness coach, masters All American in track and field in the Triple Jump and founder of both Find More Balance and the upcoming Wellness for Black Men membership community. And if you're listening to this podcast, you're likely a high achiever or high performer. And guess what? I'm here to help you make better choices and live a healthier life.

[00:02:08]

Because just because you are high achieving and high performing does not mean you are well. I'm going to say that again with probably slightly different words. Just because you're a high achiever or high performing does not mean you are well. And when I'm talking about wellness, I'm talking about holistic wellness. I'm talking about mental and emotional well being.

[00:02:27]

I'm talking about how you eat, aka. Nutrition. I'm talking about how you recover, sleep, meditation. I'm talking about relationships, connection. All of these things go together to create wellness, which then leads to happiness, which then leads to freedom.

[00:02:43]

And they're going to be difficult times in life no matter what. But when you're taking care of yourself, it's easier to bounce back from those challenging times and go even higher. And before getting into today's episode, I'm going to do something that I haven't done in a while. And that is read a five star review from Apple podcast. Don't worry, it's not a super long one.

[00:03:03]

And this is from Charm City. Diva and the title in this review is this Show is Everything. And it reads, I was a longtime PNB listener, but Rich, this show, is it? Thank you for your journey. Thank you for sharing your journey and transformation.

[00:03:20]

The work you are doing is much needed. So, Charm City Diva, I really appreciate this review because you have been around and you have probably seen the evolution more than some folks who have only known me in this iteration of my life. And I really appreciate that perspective and I really appreciate the recognition and the acknowledgement of the growth and of the journey. Because when you're doing the personal healing work and you're doing the work on yourself to overcome some of the things that you've been through in life, that is not easy.

[00:03:53]

It is isolating. It felt very isolating at different points in times. And there were moments where I wondered, as I was talking about this stuff on the podcast, if anyone actually cared about this, was this the right choice? Even though I was trusting it and just continuing to do it anyway, I did have doubts. And so it's encouraging for me to see, read, hear things like that and know that this is making a difference and know that I am on the right path.

[00:04:17]

I'm pretty confident in this moment in time that I am on the right path based on all the other things that are happening. But it's great to hear from people who've been along for the journey, particularly from the folks who I don't hear from every day but have been silently following along. So Charm City. Diva thank you. I really appreciate that five star review.

[00:04:34]

And if you want to leave a review for the podcast, go to Apple podcast, whatever podcast listening app you use. If it has an ability to leave a five star review and a few words about the show, do that so more people find out about the mental health show. And as I've said many times before, the more people we reach, the more people we help. And speaking of help, when I get back from Kentucky, I'll be taking on one on one wellness and performance coaching clients. I encourage you to visit Richrunstrack.com, set up that free consultation call, see it from the right coach for you, especially if you're trying to break a cycle that you know has been holding you back, or you want to learn how to make better choices that you can sustain over time.

[00:05:16]

Or maybe you want to make a lifestyle change, but you haven't had the accountability or partnership that you've needed to actually be able to get over the hump and make it happen. There are a lot of different ways that I can help you out, both based off of my lived experience, but also based off of the body of knowledge that I picked up as a certified wellness coach. So again, visit Richrunstrack.com, stop bullshitting, go to the website, set up the free consultation, and let's see if I'm the right coach for you. And also if you're the right client for me because I'm looking to work with people who want this change for themselves. Now, as for today's episode, and as I said on the last episode, I feel like I'm dropping these episodes right when they're supposed to come out.

[00:05:58]

And this conversation I had a few months ago with Welcome Sarah Fletcher about mental fitness, how living like an athlete pays off the power of coaching, and so much more. And it's so fitting to have this conversation come out this week when I'm getting ready to head off to the track and field championships because welcome was also a track and field athlete herself. So I really hope you enjoy this conversation we talk about so much. And I'll be back at the end of the show to wrap things up, so I'll talk to you then. Welcome, thanks for coming on the podcast.

[00:06:33] Welcome

Yes, thank you for having me. I'm so excited. We are about to have some fun today. And the first question to get things going, what does mental wealth mean to you, mental health? Wow, that's a good question.

[00:06:48]

I think it for me. When I think about mental health and pretty much starting on the path of all things mental. It really is about what is the overall accumulation of your mentality look like from your mental health. From your outlook. From the thoughts that you're thinking if you've done the work.

[00:07:07]

To till the ground of your mind. What are you consuming. What are you kicking out? All of that is a part of the equation to mental wealth. And it's so important because I just believe that if we're not there first mentally, we are not going to get there, you know, physically external us.

[00:07:28]

So we really have to do that internal work first in order to see the results that we want. So I think it's so important now. We don't just come out the womb knowing that we need to do this internal work. So when did you realize that that internal work was important? That's a good question.

[00:07:47]

I think as a kid, I feel like we all have these experiences where you're like, wow, this is not for me. I can remember thinking when I was young that there are some experiences that I had that I was like, this is not for me. Because if I were choosing, I would not choose this. So it can't be for me. It would have to be for someone else.

[00:08:11]

There must be someone I'm going to help or meet or connect with along the way who needs this. And I have to have this perspective to be able to share for whatever reason. I also remember thinking that while I love my family and we are to certain degrees close, I also wanted more connectiveness. I remember thinking, like, I want Sunday dinners with my family as a kid, you know what I mean? And the extended family, kind of like you would see in the movies or things like that.

[00:08:43]

I had these ideas, and so for me, having that idea and then having the experience that created the cognitive dissonance, like, it's not matching, it's not giving alignment was kind of an indication. So I think there were moments and glimpses of that early, even though I didn't know that it was, quote, unquote, the work. Does that make sense? I knew, like, something was out of alignment for my desires and my own thoughts that I would think about. And then obviously, as you get older, you learn a little bit more, you live a little, and you realize, like, oh, okay, there's some work to do here.

[00:09:25]

I think the most poignant time in my life when I, quote, unquote, did the work. I went through a coaching program with the International Coach Federation. It was an accredited program that they had, and I always like to point that out just because anybody can, quote, unquote, be a coach in a day, and that is not what I went through. Do not get me going. You know what?

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I'm going to let you finish going. No, you're good. So it was a year process. It was arduous. It was learning by doing.

[00:09:57]

There was an investment. It was the single biggest investment I had ever made in my life at that point. Like 20,000 plus. I think at the end, there was probably like 30. Whoa.

[00:10:06]

Yeah. So that was the first time I, quote, unquote, did the work. I'm sure there were smaller times, but that was the most meaningful. I recommend that to anyone. But that's when I really became aware of the issue and the growth and concepts that were really foreign to me and how to do them.

[00:10:28]

I remember being in this kind of, like, haze just because everything was so new, you know what I mean? Trying to figure out what was going on. But it literally changed my life in such a good way, like almost coaching and therapy. But it was incredible. It was incredible.

[00:10:47]

And then the only other time that I remember kind of a taste of doing the work, I was really stressed out at school, and my mom took me to this counselor in high school, and this was obviously before the coaching program I just mentioned. She had me do this visualization exercise. And this is why I'm telling you this, because you'll appreciate this as an athlete. She had me do this visualization exercise I had to meet the next day, so it had to be like a Thursday. And she had me visualize my run, how it was going to go, everything so, you know, the movies, right, and how everything kind of blacks out when they talk about the athletes and they're like, running, or they're doing something and everything gets quiet and you can feel the cool of the run and the crispness and oh, my gosh, I had that experience.

[00:11:32]

I'm not kidding. And I was like, this lady is genius. I got to go back. It was nuts, but I literally had that, like, movie experience the next time I ran. And so that was also a taste of doing the work.

[00:11:47] Rich

It's interesting hearing you talk about TV movies and how that influenced the way that you kind of saw things, thought about things. And I think we're all influenced by TV, what we see, especially in the era of social media. Now, you mentioned being a track and field athlete, tracking field athlete. Myself, audience is probably tired of me talking about that. How did being an athlete shape the way that you look at things, if at all?

[00:12:15] Welcome

No, it totally did, and that's a really good question. And there's a while that I really disliked being a track and field athlete. When you got those, like, how is an athlete done XYZ for you? I started to feel really bad because track is very much an individual sport. Even though you have team and at some point you can create some team points, it is very much an individual sport.

[00:12:41]

And so, like, I would map this question on to others who had a team, like those who played basketball and whatever, right? And it was just different. I played basketball, but I love track, and so it was different. So I didn't like it for a while, probably until I got a little older when I had to explain being an athlete. But now I'm so proud that I was a track and field athlete.

[00:13:09]

It taught me so much because I think in contrast to other sports, it's always just you. You can have friends, you can have career, you can have all the things, but you are always with you. And I think that the single greatest coaching and coaching you really allows. I don't know, I feel like I have a leg up because I don't necessarily need additional team to make things happen or to lean on. Yes, I have circle, yes, all of that, and it's good, but I'm just saying I feel like it's a more intense work on the individual.

[00:13:45]

And so for me, we talked about this at one point, if I hit the track, I can hear what's happening in my life, and I can coach myself through that. So just the same way as I would get on the track and run, like, yes, I can do hard things in the morning, I'm giving myself all this coaching, and I can hear my other coaches at any point on the track. I can hear them talking to me. I can hear that training, like, push, push, kick, let's tighten up, relax everything, let it go, whatever it is, I can hear that. And I just don't think other athletes have that benefit of really getting down to the granular level of the run called life.

[00:14:29]

Yeah, I'm sure it's like an outlet and yeah, I'm sure it helps, but I feel like I have coaching that I can apply to life that gets me through, and that really sharpens my iron as an individual runner, which we all are in life. So now I have such an appreciation for it. But I did have a struggle with it for a while.

[00:14:57] Rich

Yeah, there might have to be a TV show or a movie called The Run Cult Life. Yeah, I love that because it really is a marathon, right?

And just like with sports, there are periods where it's great and we're doing really well and we're happy, we're in progress. And then there are stretches where we plateau a bit and it feels like no matter what we do, we're not making the progress that we want. And then there's also the stretches where we get injured and the mental toll that can take, especially when you're really passionate about what you do. So I totally hear you on that. And for me, one thing I really loved about it being individual was that I felt like I was in control.

[00:15:34]

I wasn't dependent on someone to pass me the ball. I wasn't dependent on someone to do anything. I mean, I guess I was dependent on my coach, or maybe I was dependent on someone to hand me the baton without dropping it, but being able to be in control and to see the incremental results. So even training now, like seeing Weight poundages go up and kind of building that momentum, which then starts to at least for me, it starts to go into other things where, like, for example, I'm like, okay, I need to lift today or I want to lift tomorrow, so I need to get a good night's sleep. And if I don't get a good night's sleep, my lift is going to suck.

[00:16:03]

If I don't eat a good meal, my lift is going to suck. If I don't hydrate, I'm going to get a cramp. I'm not going to finish my workout, which is going to impact my performance at the meat. Yes. So I found that, like, with and whether it's track or just sports fitness in general, that once you start building that momentum, it doesn't just stay within that one area of life, it goes across your life overall.

[00:16:23] Welcome

It does. And it's you versus you. And I like what you were just mentioning, because you get to start tweaking the knobs, right? So you get to start tweaking the knob of sleep or what you eat or when you wake out or what that looks like. And I just feel like that's life.

[00:16:41]

We get to control the way we perform. We can control our peak performance. And I feel like that's just lessons that people learn kind of later that I feel like, believe it or not, track and field athletes have a really good handle on because there's so many levers and so many knobs that were tweaking for performance all the way around, right? And we're a little superstitious in that we do kind of the same things all the time. So I think that kind of helps with the rituals and the performances as well.

[00:17:17] Rich

I love that. And now let's go back to coaching. I was going to ask what made you get into coaching? And actually, I'm still going to ask that because it may not be so obvious. You talked about being an athlete, working with a coach, that type of thing, but I partially asked that because to make a five figure investment into coaching, you got to be really certain that that's the right path for you.

[00:17:40]

That's not something you just go like, oh, you go online, you get an Instagram ad, and you're like, oh, I'm going to be a coach. Let me just drop 20 $30,000, I guess. When was the inflection point or when was the moment that you were kind of like, you know what coaching really is for me? And yeah, how'd you go about making that decision? That's a good question.

[00:18:01] Welcome

I had a friend who at the time had gone through the program, and I thought she was incredible. And my clients too, I've always had a business on the side or whatever, but at that time, my clients, I was doing consulting, I was finding that they couldn't make business decisions because their business choices were tied to their personal decisions. And it was like, really weird. And I was like, we have got to get out of this space. Say more about that.

[00:18:26]

Yeah. So there's sometimes, like, in life, you can't make choices as it relates to your business because you're actually making personal choices, so you have them collapsed. And so what you really need to choose for your business. You can't, because you are making a personal choice, which is not the same as a business choice, which is basically leaving your business high and dry or robbing it. And it's not necessarily pushing your business forward in the direction that you desire it to go most because you won't make the business choice.

[00:18:57]

Like, it's easy. You're like, wow, I'd rather make this personal choice to not do it. I'd rather go to sleep. Okay, well, you sleeping and you getting the work done are really at odds. So which one is it?

[00:19:12]

Right? So things like that, but definitely more on a grander scale. And so trying to figure out from the consulting lens how to work with them and to get them out of their space. I was already coaching without the tools, though, right? And so I had this friend, and she had gone through the program, and she raved about it, and I was just like, wow, I'll totally do it.

[00:19:36]

And that's for me, there's a couple of things that I will invest in that I have always spent money on, I will continue to spend money on. One is my business. Two is education and then three is my health period. All of my spending goes to those areas. It gets not travel, and I love to travel, but all of my spending pretty much goes to those three areas.

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So education say less, like I'm there. So that's what made me enroll. And I didn't even know that if I wanted necessarily a coaching business as much as I wanted the foundation and the education.

Rich - Yeah, I totally get that. And I'm curious, what did you learn about yourself from going through the coaching certification process?

[00:20:22]

I learned a lot. I guess it could be a lot of different things, but maybe just one of the bigger things or a couple of the bigger things you learned about yourself that you're carrying with you now. The biggest lesson I learned was integration. Integration. The biggest lesson I learned was integration.

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There's so many of us and I was at that time, so that's why I can speak to this. There's so many of us who live fragmented and who live in silos. And we live fragmented because we've been hurt in some areas. So those places are shut down and or they're muted into the degree that you mute one thing is to the degree that you mute everything or we're literally just in silos, we've divided things up, we put it on the shelf and we're not touching it. Well, the thing about living fragmented and you know, in a siloed way, as opposed to integrating your whole self, you're really missing out on life.

[00:21:18]

And it keeps you from the experiences you most desire. It keeps you from showing up, enjoy and play. It keeps you from exploring possibilities, it keeps you from whatever you want in your career. It keeps you from the relationship. Like whatever the juice is for you, you're not going to get there because you're fragmented.

[00:21:34]

Like I'm just cutting to the chase and saving you some money. It's not going to happen. And so the real opportunity is for you. And the scary thing for a lot of people, especially high performing people who are really great like us, is facts. But the scary thing is integration because you're like, well, if I integrate that thing, it's going to cause me to feel or it's going to show up, however it's going to show up and I don't know what to do if it's integrated.

[00:22:01]

I've been performing at such a high level without having to have this as a part of me. So what's going to happen when I bring this thing in as well that I haven't had to deal with? Yeah, right, that's scary. And when you have an equation that's working when you're producing that looks like it could mess up your money, your time or whatever it is. But the gift is when you do integrate, it actually kicks you off to the next stratosphere.

[00:22:29] Rich

It's crazy. Yeah. So let's rock with this for a minute because integration, my coach has been talking to me about it non stop because there was a point in time and I'm still going through this where a lot of people know me from personal finance. A lot of folks who are listening are probably here for personal finance. We're not going to be going deep in personal finance today, folks.

[00:22:49]

But I was thinking, like, people know me for personal finance, but I'm also an athlete. I also do this, I also grow things. And I felt like whether it was at work or whether it was at social media, where I had like four different accounts for the different parts of me, it actually was kind of like stressful in a way. And then it was also frustrating because I felt like there wasn't an environment where I could bring my full self. It was like all these disjointed pieces.

[00:23:19]

And depending how you knew me, you knew different parts. And some of that is normal, right? You work with somebody, you may not tell anyone your business. But I found, like with the integration, I found that I started to feel more peace when I said, you know what, I don't care what anyone thinks. I don't care who's going to go on follow.

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I don't care if someone's going to tell me I can't work on this at work. This is what's important to me. And if I can't bring my whole self to what I do, then I don't need to be in that situation. So integration is like something that I've just started recently getting a hold of, even how I'm like going about talking about this athletic experience while still tying it to a lot of the things that people know me for. It's like a continuous integration process.

[00:24:03]

And especially it's just like new things coming to your life. Integration is also part of the marathon in a way.

Welcome - Yeah, it's key to what you said. You were all over the place as many people are who are not integrated, which is weird to think about ourselves being in different places and whatever and having these really random experiences. It's random for us to think about people walking around not being integrated and having a very segmented life, but it happens all the time.

[00:24:32]

And coaching is what we call a power leak. You're really losing your power instead of gaining your power because you think by keeping things, like in their compartments, wherever you decided that they're safe and segmented and fragmented, that you're actually reserving your power. But actually you've created a massive power leak for yourself because you're not integrated. Just like you said. I was getting tired.

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I was all over the place. You're not the only one. People feel like that, but you feel like that because you haven't decided to release the fear of being whole and to integrate yourself in a way that's healthy, that you lean into the fear of whatever it is and that you do the work, so you don't have to have these leaks. Integration is a core topic. It's a core pillar, I guess, as it relates to how we source ourselves, how we get our power, how we get our energy to achieve, to perform, to produce, to show up.

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And sometimes when you're feeling down or you're feeling off, it may be because you're ignoring the thing that makes you you, or you're ignoring that thing that brings you joy like a child. Like, really? The other day, like, I woke up, I had a great day, and I literally skipped out of Trader Joe. Literally. Literally, like feet off the ground.

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Literally. It was epic. But if you are not integrated, would you do that? You probably would have judgment about it. That was my first thought.

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I am so serious to do that. I am this like, I have this title, whatever. I have all the titles and I am out here skipping. You know what I mean? But you only get to experience that level of joy, that level of peace, that level of care.

[00:26:33]

And carefree like you were talking about, you didn't care anymore. When you fully come together, when you bring those juicy places of hurt, of things that have sliced and have fragmented together to allow, to heal, and once that happens, then what you're able to tap into as a person in this human journey is ridiculous. And that your initial question, sources your mental health. It sources your mental wealth in ways that are undescribable.

Rich - Yeah, and I know something that you're also really big on is mental fitness.

[00:27:08]

You just made me think of that. So can you talk a little bit about what mental fitness means to you?

Welcome - Yes, I love mental fitness, and I think we should talk about it more. We talk about mental health, but mental fitness is really your capacity to be fit. Are you fit mentally?

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We talk about are you fit physically? We talk about are you fit spiritually, are you fit financially? Meaning, do you have the fitness, do you have the capability, do you have the aptitude? Are you able to implement or are you just familiar? Like, oh, yeah, I should save, but I don't.

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Oh, yeah, I should do whatever, but I don't. Like, I should be more disciplined in my money, but I don't. It's the same concept, but it's in terms of your mental fitness and your mental awareness and even that mental acuity. So, again, like I said, I really believe everything stems from your mind, period. Whatever you want to create, it starts in your mind first.

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So if you want the house, like on TikTok, it's all about black luxury travel right now. So if you want that, what are you doing mentally first? How are you creating that? Because if it's not happening in your mental, it's not going to happen external you. How are you creating peace?

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What does your self talk look. Like, my self talk is very loving. Wasn't always that way.

Rich - Now my self talk is still fairly negative, and I'm working on that. And congrats to you for getting over the hump to where you can talk to yourself lovingly and positively.

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How did you do it?

Welcome - Time. It really is the compound effect enough. Singular small choices and moments that compound over time, right? If I'm talking to myself, I talk to myself like, hey, love, what do you want to do today?

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I'm literally the most loving. If I can be kind to strangers, if I can be kind and thoughtful for others, why would I not be kind and thoughtful to myself? So I really tried to bring that energy that I give out to myself as well, and then I even make it more so. Hey, Levy, what do you think about this? It's all love terms because that's what I want to bring to myself, this atmosphere of love, which then creates peace.

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It then creates safety. It creates all the things, right? It creates the freedom to fail. It creates the freedom to mess up all of it. So that's the environment that I want to create for myself.

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And it's not harsh. And if I'm, like, frustrated myself, I'll say my whole name, be like, what are you doing? But it's not like, oh, you stupid, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, no, I don't do that at all because no. Yeah.

[00:29:50] Rich

Now this could get really deep because I'm thinking of the foundational work that some of us need to do, because some of us, we struggle to talk loudly to ourselves because we haven't confronted or dealt with past trauma or how we grew up and how those things were imprinted on us. And I think that's part of what I'm working through now is coming to terms with the way that I grew up, isn't the way that I actually grew up. And so having to think a little bit about like, oh, this is why I suppress emotion, this is why it's hard for me to hear positive things, this is why I constantly hear these negative voices of not being good enough, speaking positively to yourself, which is heavily important. But I think for a lot of us, there's also some very foundational work that we need to do as well. Right?

[00:30:41] Welcome

Yeah, I would definitely agree with that, for sure. And I think, too, giving yourself grace, but I think to your point, you having a concept of how you grew up, which really wasn't how you grew up, I think really giving your inner child what you wish you would have had in that moment. So sometimes you really wish you would have had love. So who are you not to give your child love now? Why are you still withholding what you desire?

[00:31:12]

It doesn't make sense, right? So if you have it to give, like, you should give the little boy inside of you love. Like, you should speak to his courage. Like, hey, I saw how you handle that. That was pretty brave.

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Like, I see you, you know what I mean? Like, things like that. Or if it's the girl inside of you, wow, that was really scary. But look at you. You're so sweet and delicate.

[00:31:39]

We as adults can always give that inner child, whether people say it's wounded. Whatever your state, we can always give it what we need. And by doing that, it also helps us to give us what we need. Now. Yeah, now.

[00:31:55] Rich

Question for you, because I'm trying to test the theory. I believe that we change, but at the end of the day, our core is still the same in some ways. And I say this because I'm podcasting now, but I can remember being single digit age child with a big ass recorder doing my own radio show. Oh, that's perfect.

[00:32:19]

I didn't lose a race until I got to high school, but I remember always enjoying running. And then even though I fell out of the sport for years, now I'm back doing it again and even leaning into creativity, being someone who used to enjoy writing. I still can't draw for shit, but I used to enjoy writing and now I look at some of the things that I'm doing now and I'm like, oh, I've gotten older and a lot of things in my life have changed. At my core, I'm still like that same kid who's curious, who's creative, and who wants a means to express himself. So I'm curious what you think.

[00:32:56] Welcome

Do you think that people ultimately remain the same or that they evolve and change and become different? I do think you evolve and I think you grow for sure. But I think your core is the same. I was just in this conversation the other day, I think your core is the same. And if you look at the stuff that you want to do, I wish I could see this visual.

[00:33:17]

If you take your hand and you look at the center of your palm, that's your core. And then if you look at your fingers and if you just imagine, like, spokes continuing to come off them in a circular pattern, like, those are the symptoms or the ideas, all the great ideas that you have that stem from your core. So a lot of times people are like, oh, I have all these ideas. And I'm like, you're really having if you pay attention to patterns, you're really having the same idea because it's coming from your core. It's just a different way to implement whatever it is.

[00:33:49]

Right. But I think our course do not change. I think the ideas change and the spokes that come off the center change, shift, evolve, grow deepen, things like that get a little more color. But I think it's all still reflective of the core and it's a piece of I don't want to say display, but it's like a piece of that core in a way that maybe you didn't see. So you talked about art, okay, maybe there's a PCV that's art.

[00:34:22]

Okay, maybe there's a piece of you that's business, maybe there's all that, but it's still a part of the core, even though it seems like it's a different concept. And a lot of times you're like, I don't even know how to make this fit, which I think is a lot of people's problems, but it really is all from me.

[00:34:38] Rich

Got you. Okay, so that's one test of theory. So I'm going to put that in the column of yes, there's some truth and validity to this, and I'd love to hear your thoughts if you're listening in. So feel free to hit up at Pay Balances on Twitter, Instagram, let me know what you think about this. Now, welcome.

[00:34:53]

Another thing, so actually people are probably wondering, how did you get the name welcome?

Welcome - Yeah, so I'm actually named after my grandmother. She'll be 103 in May, so she's still alive. She's super spunky, amazing woman, like super ahead of her time. But she is Native American, and so her mom named her welcome to welcome her into the world and then May, because she was born in the month of May, so she literally has, as we would think about a true Native American name.

[00:35:26]

She really has that. And so I was named after her, so I'm her name's sake, and that's why I have my name.

Rich - Nice. And it's interesting, I don't know too many folks who have Native American in their ancestry, or maybe they just haven't told me directly. And this isn't about to become one of those where I ask you to be the representative of all things Native American.

[00:35:51]

But I am curious how that part of your background has shaped your experience, because I think all parts of our background shape our experience in different ways. And I'm just curious for you, maybe it's like, oh, I've had an experience just like anyone else, or were there things that were different or things that you experienced differently that you've become more aware of over time as a result of kind of having that in your heritage?

Welcome - Yeah, so I don't know that anything was really different, but I will say that it wasn't a super popular name as a kid. Right.

[00:36:35]

It wasn't cool. But I do have an appreciation for names. And don't feel bad, like, if your name doesn't fall in this. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying, for me, I have an appreciation.

[00:36:47]

I believe in a good, strong name, and I believe that there's some meaning in the name personally. And so for me, the fact that my name is welcome Sarah and then I have another middle name, I think it speaks to who I am as a person. Like, I hold space for others. I am very gregarious. I am very welcoming.

[00:37:13]

So I think it's kind of interesting when I look at my life, how my name has played out. I'm super loyal. You know, one of my names talks about that. So I just think it's interesting how that can really impact a personality, maybe more things to test and to see, but I think it's super interesting. So I think just from the fact of having the name more than anything really shaped my personality even before I knew.

[00:37:43]

But I don't know that I had any real experiences that were different than anybody else.

Rich - Got you. On a related note, reinvention, I know, is something that's important to you as well, and particularly reinvention for women. And interestingly, the role that men can play in that. So talk about that a little bit.

[00:38:06] Welcome

Yes. I love you. So reinvention is so important. I have a whole podcast talking about reinvention. It's called welcome to Reinvention.

[00:38:14]

We help women who are reinventing core areas of their life, so money, career, business and relationships, and really giving them real time tools to be able to do that. And big about voice amplification being seen and heard and especially having tools in the moment to help. So reinvention is just important. And I think people think in general, reinvention is something that happens one time and it's not jokes on you, it's not reinvention is a constant evolutionary process that happens and it happens in every aspect of our life. So we need to know how we can reinvent better, more seamlessly, without making all the crazy noise, attention, what can we do?

[00:39:01]

And so that's the space that I love being able to serve women. Right now we're serving in 40 countries, and to your point how men get involved, and I love this just because I just love men, but what I see in women's empowerment and movement over time and even right now, is the definite creation of safe spaces for women that we need. Absolutely. I'm champion of that. However, I don't think it should be with the alienation of men we talk about.

[00:39:35]

Men want to be in the boardroom, they want to have all these buddy buddy meetings that women can't be a part of all this stuff, the golf course, everything, it seems that women are being excluded from. And even as we talk about pay equity and things like that and closing that gap, how do we do that? Well, call me crazy, but I think we do that by the inclusion of men and by asking them to come to the table and to share their thoughts with us. Men that we can trust, men who have our best interests at heart, men who want to see us go to the next level, who will be honest and share and give us the tools that we need. And so one of the things I'm most proud of for welcome to Reinvention is that we allow men to come on the podcast and share.

[00:40:23]

And they get to share their brilliance, they get to share their strength. And I just believe that there are very specific things that men can unlock in us as women, that we can't unlock ourselves. And that literally just comes by listening to them. There's something in their voice that does that for us. And so it's always been a part in the design, but that's how I believe that they can come and that they can support.

[00:40:47]

And we need that. Nobody likes to be top heavy or bottom heavy or to be off base when it comes to weight or anything like that. You see those guys who are, quote unquote, macho who only lifted the arms and the chest, and they have these little bitty legs like, what is happening? No, we want to be well balanced 360 as a whole person. And so I believe that men do that for us, so we have space for them as well.

[00:41:14] Rich

Now, I love that, of course, probably because I'm biased, because I am a man and I don't have skinny legs. But for reinvention, it's something that we do throughout life. But sometimes it can be really hard to get started on that when we don't know what it is that we're trying to reinvent too. So how does someone even start that process of figuring out like they say something needs to change, they don't know what. Or something about me needs to be different for the world to see.

[00:41:44] So people see me the way that I see myself, if that's a positive thing. So how does someone kind of start that process of reinventing?

Welcome - That's a good question. So I always say that we reinvent for a couple of reasons. One, because the life plan that we have crumbled in front of our eyes, and now we're left holding the rebel, and our hands are like, what do I do?

[00:42:06]

Okay. Or as women, we reinvent because we have stayed in a place too long and we know we stayed in a place too long. Or we get that nudge that's like we're making all the money, but we really should be in a different area. But how do I go from all the money to my passion where it looks like no money? Who is doing that?

[00:42:29]

But there's something that keeps poking at you, keep poking at you and really aggravating your soul. How do you reconcile those things? So all of those and more are points and invitations for reinvention. I think it's just in. You said, how does it get started?

[00:42:46]

How does one do that? And I would say you actually already know how to reinvent, even though you think you don't. And if you just follow that guy, just like you're getting the invitation to reinvent, if you just follow it, then you'll see your next step. So many times we want to have the whole pathway laid out for us. But I mean, when's the last time, honestly, everybody think about this, that the pathway was laid out for you and you still walk down it.

[00:43:15]

No, you didn't. You know why? Because you still have questions. You wanted to know what happened at turn number eleven. What happens at turn number 30 before you even take one step?

[00:43:23]

You want all the control. Exactly. And that is not what this life is about. It really is a higher invitation to trust. And so you're going to receive, like, maybe the first one to three steps, execute those and you'll get more.

[00:43:38]

Yes, but you're not going to. And that's the beauty of reinvention. And it's a journey that unfolds as you begin to go down the path. But if you're not willing to go down the path, why should more specifications, more steps to be laid out for you? Because it's not going to help you in your desire to be immobile and your desire to control, it's not going to.

[00:44:02]

So that's not the gift.

Rich - I was just talking to my coach about this, too. I actually find that the more steps, it actually creates more anxiety, which slows me down and getting started because I'm thinking about all the million things and then it just becomes overwhelmed versus Rich just freaking press record or Rich, just turn the freaking camera on or whatever the thing. It can be a conversation with a partner. Approach it this way.

[00:44:30]

So I just find that super interesting. And we are rounding towards the end of the episode here and it's crazy how quickly this time has flew by. And it will not be the last time on the podcast because there's still, like, a few things I wanted to cover that we're not going to get to today. So as we're wrapping up here, what is your message? What is your message to the people?

[00:44:53]

Anything you want to close us out with? That's so broad and it's intentional.

Welcome - So much. Listen, this is what I want you to know. Wherever you are in life, I want you to know that you are the person you've been looking for.

[00:45:08]

What you're looking for is not external you. It's actually internal you. You can actually achieve that goal, but you have to do the work and come inside first. And if no one has told you how much you matter, if no one has told you how freaking brilliant you are, how capable you are, that your voice matters. Like, I want to tell you that and I just want to acknowledge you because I see you.

[00:45:37]

I see the work that you're doing when nobody else does. I'm not being creepy. I'm just saying you're doing it and you deserve some acknowledgement and I just want you to keep going because the juice, the real brilliance of what it is you're desiring is just on the other side of the hill. And I don't want you to give up. And I'm literally cheering for you.

[00:46:02]

And you are the person you've been waiting for in your money, in your career, in your relationships, in your health. And I just stand with you in your belief of what you see as possible.

Rich - I'm so glad I made the question so broad because I'm touching my heart, my chest right now. I'm like, man, that was just beautiful. By chance, did you watch Insecure?

[00:46:28]

I've seen it, yes. Okay, but you probably haven't seen the last episode, so I'm not going to spoil that for you. There's something that she says, actually, I can say this doesn't spoil it. She says, the only one doubting me was me. Yes.

[00:46:40]

Which was like the whole thing throughout the course of the series. And I was just like, man, that is just so powerful because a lot of times we do think it's all of these other external forces in the world doubting us, but no, it's really us doubting ourselves.

[00:46:56]

I'm fired up right now. And like a motion, I might skip I might go skip to the kitchen to make this coffee after we wrap up here. But welcome, it has been awesome to have you on the podcast. I know you mentioned the name of your show, tell people where they can find you because I'm sure folks are going to want to look you up after this. Yeah.

[00:47:17] Welcome

So the podcast is called welcome to Reinvention. We would love to have you. It's available wherever you get your podcasts so you can find us there. You can also connect with me on Social. I am an Instagram at welcome Sarah with an H.

[00:47:35]

So you can connect with me there. You can also connect with me on LinkedIn. But yeah, thanks.

Rich - I really enjoyed it. And you'll follow her, all of that good stuff.

[00:47:46]

Hit her up inquire about the coaching, whatever she has going on inquire about it and support. Thanks again for coming on and like I said, it won't be the last. Yes. So excited. Thanks again to welcome Sarah for coming on the podcast, dropping knowledge, kicking it with me at that particular time in my life.

[00:48:04]

Because as I was listening to this episode, I remembered that I was in the depths of some healing at that point in time, too. I mean, these last few episodes, I was in the thick of it when I was recording. I probably shouldn't have been recording episodes at that time, but I'm glad that I did because again, they're coming out when they're supposed to. And there's also something that I've learned from each of these guests. And there was a part of the conversation that I didn't include where I was questioning identity a little bit.

[00:48:32]

And she helped me work through that. I don't know that she knew that she helped me work through it, but she did help me work through it. So welcome Sarah. I appreciate you for that. And it's great to see people understand and promote the power of coaching because it's something that's made such a difference in my life.

[00:48:52]

Shout out to my leadership coach, Cavan Tucker. KV O N Tucker. Go look that brother up. He works with a lot of people who are doing dope shit, and he's enabled me and empowered me to do some dope shit, though he would say I'm the one ultimately doing it. I'm not where I am.

[00:49:08]

I'm not here with this level of enthusiasm if I don't work with his brother. So I encourage you to check him out as well. So that is all for this episode. I'm about to go catch this flight. Well, not just me.

[00:49:20]

Booboo Kim and I are about to go catch this flight, get out to Kentucky. I'm going to do everything I can this week to keep my body together. The massage therapy, I'm bringing the massage theragun with me. I got the little electro stimuli things to put on, man, I got all sorts of stuff that I'm doing as part of my self care routine to ensure that I'm ready to go when it comes time to long jump on Saturday, triple jump on Sunday. So hopefully the next time you hear my voice on this podcast, I might have some hardware clanking around my neck.

[00:49:49]

So thank you so much for listening. And if you want to follow along on what's happening in these track and field streets on social at Rich runs track on Instagram, where I'm posting a lot more consistently, probably more consistently than I've ever posted on social media before. I'm also on the Tik tok at Richmond's Rack, so check me out there. And if you have not visited the Findmorebalance blog, go to findmorebalance.com. I know there's a lot of links, pick whatever suits you and makes you the happiest, but go to Findmorebalance.com, where I've had a team of writers creating great content to help you find more balance across your life, increase your performance, increase your outcomes at work, in your bank account, and so much more.

[00:50:32]

So until next time, thanks for listening. I'll talk to you then. That's not normally the way I exit the show, but I'm going to go with it. Do something, dope.